Closure
A few years back now I had a time in my life when I had a choice of making the right moves and following a path that felt so right, sadly I did not have a good enough head on me at the time, I made some mistakes and well ended up on a path that has felt like now I am stumbling from one day to the next.
A Very special person has kept me going and has stuck by me through think and thin, I will always treasure them for this and the strong friendship I have with them.
I feel that I need to some how put closure to this time in my past as when it fell apart it fell apart so fast and so quickly that it..., well hurt like hell but in a lot of ways and at the time I feel I was just feeling what I deserved as a result.
I travled to Canada and Vancouver not long after this time and well I felt so grounded in me during my time in Vancouver, I found I could relax and be me, it meant so much to me to be able to try and discover who I am trying to become as a person.
Most of who I am now I am happy with but at times I think, if I had taken that other path all those years ago how different things might have been.
Would it have been a good move ?
I feel at times when I hear a certain Savage Garden song, that yes it would have been the right move.
I know I need to move on but in a small way i feel I need to make sure I have closure in doing so I feel I need to travel to Seattle and spend some time there and just close off what might have been.
Maybe this is silly as it is well half way round the world but well I am on this path I am on maybe having closure to what happened in my past it will move me off the way I am going now so i can bring more feeling to my life and become even more of the person I know I can be.
I dont know if I will be able to make this happen as well it does cost to travel these days but I feel I need to so with luck I will be able to put this in place and make it happen by November next year.
I would hope after I gain closure to move forward in the work I do now and treasure even more the friendships I have in my life,
I understand if you move on and don't read this but for me if i put it down on paper like this maybe it will mean i can think things over and make the right moves and grow.
As hey I'm only 33 but I do feel I am getting on in years so I think i need to work towards getting closure and making it happen by the end of 2011.
I have a wonderful job at the airline a friend in my life that is magic and has taught me so much and well as long as I push myself in it a love of photography I still feel in being human I am missing something,
I would hope by closing off this time in my past I will be able to gain what I feel I am missing.
I dont know why I am writing this in such a public space, i think in putting it down in text like this and getting it out it will keep me committed in what I am trying to achieve.
